Sry I called you an 8
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize