she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
