Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
