Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
