don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
