Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize