After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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