That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
