how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
