very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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