I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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