Duck Duck Cougar?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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