ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
