The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
