apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
