just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
