Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
