I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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