White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish you could order shots online.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i think my cat just said my name.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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