yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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