You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
