I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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