This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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