What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
