My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
