Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize