I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
