what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
