Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
