Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I want her autograph on my taint
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
