We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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