So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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