he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
