1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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