it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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