One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
