I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
