do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize