worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
