You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
