I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
