I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
