I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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