I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
