8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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