I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
