your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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