Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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