You're so nebulous sometimes
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
