If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
