She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need moral support for this bender
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
