somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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