Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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