where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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