so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
