I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize