I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
