apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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