I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize