you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize