There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do you have feelings for this penis?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
