I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Success! We fucked roommates!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
