Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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