The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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