So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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