I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize