I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
