My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
this will be a night to untag.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just pee around me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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