We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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