I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
